Yesterday I got a new phone. It's an apple iphone SE, my first iphone. But I don't think I'll use it just yet. My old Nokia still works fine, even though it has been dropped countless times, it still does most of what I want it to do, calls, texts, and the odd grainy photo. The only thing that doesn't work is the torch, but I bought an LED torch for 1.99 so that will do instead. I don't need it to access the internet, even though I get 2 gigs of data every month with my package. Yesterday the phone shop wasn't too busy, well it wasn't busy at all actually because I was the only customer there. So I asked the sales assistant how big is 2 gigs in layman's terms?
It's about 1 hour on youtube. WTF use is that? I was telling her I was going to keep it in the box, will it be ok to leave it there until I need it? Sure, it's your phone, when her Dad gets a new upgrade he gives it to one of his kids. I'm thinking of doing the same, give it to my 11 year old for christmas. She said you could sell it if you want, loads of people do,it's your phone. So when I got home with my new phone I looked it up on a few selling sites, the phone that I paid €69 for can be sold for something like €250 to €400.
Why? Let's go back in time a bit. About a month ago I got a text saying I was due an upgrade. I went on to my 'service' provider's website, got chatting on line to somebody from India about my upgrade, went over and back to a few review sites on the net, then looked up prices etc. I discovered that the iphone SE has a 12 megapixel camera, that's cool I thought, my Nikon digital slr only has 10 megapixels, it's also slightly smaller than more modern phones (remember I still have a Nokia) so that helped. I did no more about it. But for about two weeks my old reliable Nokia became very unreliable, dropped calls, my wife asking why don't you answer your phone etc. missed calls. I smelt a rat.
Then about 10 days ago I was driving the tractor when a Polish guy rang me from my 'service' provider, guess what, I was due an upgrade. I stopped the tractor, he was a bit surprised when I told him I used a Nokia phone. He thought I had some sort of Samsung (my last upgrade). I told him that the terrier sank his teeth into the screen about a month after I got it and I went back to using a Nokia. I told him I was interested in the iphone SE, no surprise to him haha, so I ordered it, said I'd pick it up in my local 'service' provider's shop.
So here I am with a perfectly good Nokia and a brand new iphone still in the box (despite my 11 year old son's protestations) that I don't really need. It cost me €69 and a 24 month contract which includes 2 gigabites of data (WTF), 150 minutes of talk time and 150 texts for €23 (incl. VAT) per month. What's the catch?
24 months @ €23 is €552. I used the calculator on my Nokia to work that out! Ok maybe I could get a pay as you go deal from a different 'service' provider for €15, but I'd probably have to buy a phone and a sim card for €250 minimum.
I think it's being locked in for 24 months is where the catch is, it probably costs my 'service' provider virtually nothing to provide me with 150 minutes of talk time. I don't know how much apple charge my 'service' provider, but I'm guessing it's about half what the average joesoap can buy a phone for (250/2) so €125 approx. So they make €427 - the cost of calls (virtually nothing)+€69 out of selling me a new phone.
Oh, I nearly forgot, my 'service' provider retail outlet was selling an otterbox defender cover for €49, the same cover can be bought on line for €15. My Nokia doesn't need a cover, and only needs to be charged twice a week. You should have seen the amount of shit inside my Nokia when the sales assistant opened it to see if I needed a new sim card!
I think the iphone is the carrot to get people to sign a new contract. There's a joke going around about the new iphone X,
how do you milk a sheep?
Launch a new iphone.
In conclusion I'll leave you with a quote from The Grapes of Wrath;
'The first time I heard the word service was when my daddy was taking a heifer to the bull. So now everytime I hear the word service I can't help wondering just who is gettin' screwed?'.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Friday, September 1, 2017
Half way to forty hammers.
The Man With Forty Hammers.
I used to work in Co Clare in a lab. Part of the job was taking samples from sites around the county. We drove past a small workshop and the guy driving said 'That man has forty hammers'.
A couple of weeks ago I bought a ballpien hammer from a travelling salesman. I didn't really need another hammer, but I bought it anyway to hansel the man, it was a wet day and he'd been travelling over a hundred miles and I was his first customer. I sometimes think I bring good luck to these people, if they make a sale to me early in the day then the rest of the day will be good for them.
It's the blue hammer towards the lower middle.
Anyway I started thinking how many hammers have I? So yesterday I gathered them all up and laid them out on a pallet. I found 18 including a mallet, there was one in the car and another in the jeep, actually the one in the jeep is a fencing pliers, but it can be used to hammer in a staple. So I'm half way there, to the man with 40 hammers that is, if you will allow me to count the fencing pliers as a hammer.
What's the big deal with hammers you may ask? Well to put it simply the hammer is the mother of all tools. When our ancestors picked up a rock to bash a nut open that was the first rudimentary tool. To make a better tool they shaped flints with another stone and so on until we started to melt ores and cast them. Today hammers are still used by a few of us on a daily basis. Most of the farmers I know have at least one hammer, some have two or three, but 20 is a bit OTT. I have an excuse though, I am a blacksmith. When I gathered mine up yesterday I deliberately didn't gather up the ones with no handles, there is at least a half dozen or so of them.
Most of my hammers were bought in joblots at auctions. Some were on the farm before I was born. One christmas I mentioned that I'd like a hammer for christmas, I got 3 ballpiens that christmas.
Below, I re-arranged them according to their purpose.
On the left are two sledges, the long handled one weighs 10lbs, the other is an 8lb stone mason's hammer. Next are two more stone mason's hammers, used to finish the face of a stone. Then there are six blacksmithing hammers of various weights, the sixth one is used for swaging. Next are a few carpenter's hammers with a claw for pulling out nails. Beside them is what I think is a cobbler's hammer. that came in box of tools at an auction. Next up we have 2 lump hammers, made in China, they are slightly softer and can be used for forging, especially to hit tool steel without damaging the tool steel. Generally one of these lives in each tractor on the farm. Finally at the extreme right is the wooden mallet, sometimes used to hit chisels for woodwork, or can be used in the forge to straighten a twist without marking it. My next hammer purchase will be a rawhide hammer, also used for forging, light taps on something that is almost finished. Perhaps I'll mention it at christmas and get 3!
I used to work in Co Clare in a lab. Part of the job was taking samples from sites around the county. We drove past a small workshop and the guy driving said 'That man has forty hammers'.
A couple of weeks ago I bought a ballpien hammer from a travelling salesman. I didn't really need another hammer, but I bought it anyway to hansel the man, it was a wet day and he'd been travelling over a hundred miles and I was his first customer. I sometimes think I bring good luck to these people, if they make a sale to me early in the day then the rest of the day will be good for them.
Anyway I started thinking how many hammers have I? So yesterday I gathered them all up and laid them out on a pallet. I found 18 including a mallet, there was one in the car and another in the jeep, actually the one in the jeep is a fencing pliers, but it can be used to hammer in a staple. So I'm half way there, to the man with 40 hammers that is, if you will allow me to count the fencing pliers as a hammer.
What's the big deal with hammers you may ask? Well to put it simply the hammer is the mother of all tools. When our ancestors picked up a rock to bash a nut open that was the first rudimentary tool. To make a better tool they shaped flints with another stone and so on until we started to melt ores and cast them. Today hammers are still used by a few of us on a daily basis. Most of the farmers I know have at least one hammer, some have two or three, but 20 is a bit OTT. I have an excuse though, I am a blacksmith. When I gathered mine up yesterday I deliberately didn't gather up the ones with no handles, there is at least a half dozen or so of them.
Most of my hammers were bought in joblots at auctions. Some were on the farm before I was born. One christmas I mentioned that I'd like a hammer for christmas, I got 3 ballpiens that christmas.
Below, I re-arranged them according to their purpose.
On the left are two sledges, the long handled one weighs 10lbs, the other is an 8lb stone mason's hammer. Next are two more stone mason's hammers, used to finish the face of a stone. Then there are six blacksmithing hammers of various weights, the sixth one is used for swaging. Next are a few carpenter's hammers with a claw for pulling out nails. Beside them is what I think is a cobbler's hammer. that came in box of tools at an auction. Next up we have 2 lump hammers, made in China, they are slightly softer and can be used for forging, especially to hit tool steel without damaging the tool steel. Generally one of these lives in each tractor on the farm. Finally at the extreme right is the wooden mallet, sometimes used to hit chisels for woodwork, or can be used in the forge to straighten a twist without marking it. My next hammer purchase will be a rawhide hammer, also used for forging, light taps on something that is almost finished. Perhaps I'll mention it at christmas and get 3!
Sunday, July 2, 2017
I'm tired but I can't sleep. I'm not in bed but it's almost 1am, I'm watching a tv programme about Phil Collins. I like his music, one of his songs is my favourite song, 'in the air tonight' if I'm ever in a coma and you want me to come out of it this song would most likely do it.
Anyway on nights when I can't sleep I recite this stuff to myself, starting with my feet. It also works as a relaxation technique, here goes;
My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed.
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed.
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
and I think about the only time I ever saw you in a dress
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
a black dress the day we had an interview with E6
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
and you got the job.
My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
I think about you having a coffee
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
sitting with your legs crossed
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
one hand tucked between your thighs
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed.
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love
you smiling in a park, with sun behind you
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love
the sunlight streaming through your hair
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love.
My hips feel heavy and relaxed
I think about your hips
My hips feel heavy and relaxed
clad in Levis at eye level
My hips feel heavy and relaxed.
walking away from me after we had a row
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed
maths class in 2nd year, you sat in front of me
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed
I could see your green panties
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed.
embarrassed you pulled your shirt lower.
My spine feels heavy and relaxed
My spine feels heavy and relaxed
the flat gold chain at the top of your spine
My spine feels heavy and relaxed.
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed.
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
At holloween you invited me to your room
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
you took off your jumper
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
and inadvertently revealed your navel
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
we never actually chose a star
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
but now whenever I see Orion's belt
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
Or Mars I think of you too
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
How tanned they were
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
'03 was a good summer
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
your fabulous hair cascading over them
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed.
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
The first time I saw you
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
You wore an armulet
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
You sat beside me as I ordered a USB watch on the bay
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
I asked did you want one too
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
But you politely declined
Anyway on nights when I can't sleep I recite this stuff to myself, starting with my feet. It also works as a relaxation technique, here goes;
My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed.
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed.
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
and I think about the only time I ever saw you in a dress
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
a black dress the day we had an interview with E6
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
and you got the job.
My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
I think about you having a coffee
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
sitting with your legs crossed
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
one hand tucked between your thighs
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed.
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love
you smiling in a park, with sun behind you
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love
the sunlight streaming through your hair
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love.
My hips feel heavy and relaxed
I think about your hips
My hips feel heavy and relaxed
clad in Levis at eye level
My hips feel heavy and relaxed.
walking away from me after we had a row
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed
maths class in 2nd year, you sat in front of me
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed
I could see your green panties
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed.
embarrassed you pulled your shirt lower.
My spine feels heavy and relaxed
My spine feels heavy and relaxed
the flat gold chain at the top of your spine
My spine feels heavy and relaxed.
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed.
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
At holloween you invited me to your room
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
you took off your jumper
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
and inadvertently revealed your navel
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
we never actually chose a star
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
but now whenever I see Orion's belt
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
Or Mars I think of you too
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
How tanned they were
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
'03 was a good summer
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
your fabulous hair cascading over them
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed.
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
The first time I saw you
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
You wore an armulet
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
You sat beside me as I ordered a USB watch on the bay
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
I asked did you want one too
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
But you politely declined
My arms, my elbows, and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.
My arms, my elbows, and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.
My arms, my elbows, and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.
My hands feel heavy and relaxed
My hands feel heavy and relaxed
My hands feel heavy and relaxed
My fingers feel heavy and relaxed
You asked me could I raise my 3rd finger
My fingers feel heavy and relaxed
While still keeping the others flat?
My fingers feel heavy and relaxed
I showed you that I could and you said
some piano players who couldn't
would be very jealous.
My thumbs feel heavy and relaxed
Why is thumbing a lift so bad
My thumbs feel heavy and relaxed
where you come from it has a
My thumbs feel heavy and relaxed
totally different meaning, now I know.
My hands, my fingers and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed
Your long slender skilled fingers would do a surgeon proud
My hands, my fingers and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed
My hands, my fingers and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.
My neck feels heavy and relaxed
As I get more relaxed I am more
My neck feels heavy and relaxed
conscious of my heart beating
My neck feels heavy and relaxed
My jaw feels heavy and relaxed
we watched a world cup game on tv
My jaw feels heavy and relaxed
Your country won and we drank some carlsberg
My jaw feels heavy and relaxed
My tongue feels heavy and relaxed
you flew home the next day
My tongue feels heavy and relaxed
3 world cups have passed since
My tongue feels heavy and relaxed
My neck, my jaw and my tongue are all heavy and relaxed
My neck, my jaw and my tongue are all heavy and relaxed
My neck, my jaw and my tongue are all heavy and relaxed.
My lips feel heavy and relaxed
My lips feel heavy and relaxed
My lips feel heavy and relaxed
My cheeks feel heavy and relaxed
My cheeks feel heavy and relaxed
My cheeks feel heavy and relaxed
My eyes feel heavy and relaxed
Boris eye lashes I teased
My eyes feel heavy and relaxed
My eyes feel heavy and relaxed
My lips, my cheeks and my eyes are all heavy and relaxed
My lips, my cheeks and my eyes are all heavy and relaxed
My lips, my cheeks and my eyes are all heavy and relaxed.
My forehead feels heavy and relaxed
My forehead feels heavy and relaxed
My forehead feels heavy and relaxed
My temples feel heavy and relaxed
My temples feel heavy and relaxed
My temples feel heavy and relaxed
My ears feel heavy and relaxed
with the Claddagh earrings
My ears feel heavy and relaxed
I wonder what it would take now
My ears feel heavy and relaxed
to make up with you again.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
After the Poetry?
After the love has gone all that's left is the poetry.
But what is left after the poetry has gone? Is it just the memories? Or the everyday reminders that have become routine? Driving along a certain piece of road perhaps, or something as simple as looking at the horizon out the kitchen window as I press the coffee pot plunger and wonder do you still think about me too.
At least the dreams have stopped. For ages I had a recurring dream of being in a cinema and you would walk past and just ignore me, the same way as you ignored me on the bridge one January afternoon. Sometimes I dreamt that we actually had a conversation, in a lab usually, solving a problem or in a canteen you'd smile sit down beside me and then......
Now all that is left is the memories. I spent years mourning your loss, I wonder was it the same for you too? Perhaps that's why you never replied to the emails I sent you at christmas or on your birthday. I always felt very down after sending one off to cyberspace. I'd frantically check my inbox 8 or 9 times a day for a few days, naively hoping for a reply. But there never was any replies. You blocked me on all social media, can't say I blame you, but I'm glad to see a photo of you wearing the Claddagh earrings a few years after we stopped talking. It gave me HOPE, perhaps there was still a slim chance that maybe some day you would get back to me.
This year I didn't send you any emails wishing you a happy christmas, or all the best in 2017. I can't do it anymore. Instead when I went to feed the cattle on new year's eve I lit a candle for you in the HOPE that maybe soon you'll get back to me.
So I conclude, after the love has gone, the poetry exhausted and as the memories fade, HOPE is still there.
Little update; still dreaming about you, were you thinking about me?
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xjdrlo_bob-dylan-johnny-cash-girl-from-the-north-countrywmv_music
I came across this last year and it reminded me of you, hope someone bought you a good coat for the winter.
But what is left after the poetry has gone? Is it just the memories? Or the everyday reminders that have become routine? Driving along a certain piece of road perhaps, or something as simple as looking at the horizon out the kitchen window as I press the coffee pot plunger and wonder do you still think about me too.
At least the dreams have stopped. For ages I had a recurring dream of being in a cinema and you would walk past and just ignore me, the same way as you ignored me on the bridge one January afternoon. Sometimes I dreamt that we actually had a conversation, in a lab usually, solving a problem or in a canteen you'd smile sit down beside me and then......
Now all that is left is the memories. I spent years mourning your loss, I wonder was it the same for you too? Perhaps that's why you never replied to the emails I sent you at christmas or on your birthday. I always felt very down after sending one off to cyberspace. I'd frantically check my inbox 8 or 9 times a day for a few days, naively hoping for a reply. But there never was any replies. You blocked me on all social media, can't say I blame you, but I'm glad to see a photo of you wearing the Claddagh earrings a few years after we stopped talking. It gave me HOPE, perhaps there was still a slim chance that maybe some day you would get back to me.
This year I didn't send you any emails wishing you a happy christmas, or all the best in 2017. I can't do it anymore. Instead when I went to feed the cattle on new year's eve I lit a candle for you in the HOPE that maybe soon you'll get back to me.
So I conclude, after the love has gone, the poetry exhausted and as the memories fade, HOPE is still there.
Little update; still dreaming about you, were you thinking about me?
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xjdrlo_bob-dylan-johnny-cash-girl-from-the-north-countrywmv_music
I came across this last year and it reminded me of you, hope someone bought you a good coat for the winter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)