Drought

We are having the hottest, driest summer here since 1976. I can remember it being too hot to go outside in '76. This time I stay in for a siesta in the afternoon, work in the early morning and start a bit of work again in the evening around 7. It's strange that peak temperature is around 5pm. I thought it would be earlier, around 2pm.

We've been going to the beach at the weekends to cool off. The Atlantic is bloody freezing. Perhaps it is the big difference in the air temperature compared to the water and our white bodies are having a problem coping with the difference. But I suspect the Atlantic is colder than it used to be, there is a lot of northern ice after melting in the last few years. perhaps that is why we are getting wetter winters, snow in spring and hotter drier summers.

On the farm things are ok, cattle are content with dry grass, water and some shade for the hottest part of the day. We have enough grass for 3 more weeks, hopefully it will rain. but there is a soil moisture deficit of approx 90 mm.- not good. I heard the sheriff called to one of the neighbours about his water bill, he's got a month to gather up some money. We still have to make pit silage, we have about 40 bales made. If it stays dry I'll wholecrop the barley and pit that. Fuck the grain merchant. He'll survive, I have to do what I have to do to survive too. I'm thinking of putting in some fodder crops like rape/turnip/kale etc. But if I put them in too early they may not grow, if I leave it too late the yield won't be there. I sowed bird cover before the 15th June and it has only germinated in a few really wet places.

Money wise we are ok, I sold some cull cows and they brought in €1100 each. But cattle prices are crashing since. England are out of the world cup and they were eating a lot of steaks and burgers every time they had a game.

Longer term I think we will be better off with a lower stocking rate. This reduces pressure on feed but also reduces sales. But when the bottom line is calculated out we could be better off producing less as climate changes.

 

Life is short.

Life is short. I found an empty Tayto crisp packet in the jeep between the front seats. It had been there for a week. I remember the day my son and I bought the crisps, it was a Monday in February, cold but dry. I had picked him up from school that day, we drove from the school to another town about 15 miles from the school to collect some cattle ration.

He was hungry, and so was I, he had had a school lunch and I'd had nothing since breakfast, so we went into Dunnes with a fiver to see what could we get. We got a bag of bread rolls, a small block of cheddar cheese that was on special offer because it had almost reached the best before date, and a small packet of sliced ham. When we got to the till there was enough left over for one packet of crisps to share between the two of us, my son ran back to get them, while he was gone I said we were having lunch on the cheap to the lady behind the till.

We didn't have a shopping bag so just carried the food back to the jeep, put it all up on the dashboard. I took out my pocket knife, cleaned it and cut a roll in half, showed my son how to slice open the pack of cheese and cut a slice at the same time while he peeled open the ham. I put two slices of cheese on the bread, a slice of ham and folded the bread roll closed and handed it to him. Then I repeated the process for myself. It tasted just lovely, sometimes a simple meal is the best.

On the way home we ate the crisps between us, the cheese and ham went into the fridge when we got home, the rolls just sat on the breakfast bar. When my wife got home, our son told her about the cheap lunch. I think she was shocked that I fed our son almost out of date cheese, cheap bread rolls and ham that wasn't bordbia approved. Jesus, I thought good job she didn't find out about using the pocket knife.

My Dad hadn't been too well that weekend, he had fallen a few times so that night I went for the first time to help my mum put him to bed. When we had gotten him up on the stairlift, undressed and into bed I said to him goodnight, I love you. He mumbled something in return, I didn't quite catch it, something like ya you do, or ya I know you do.

The next day was Tuesday, my dad stayed in bed all day. My mother called the GP and he came to visit him in the afternoon, said he had a chest infection. While my mother went out to the local pharmacy he died, alone, in bed.

We buried him on the Saturday. The following week I found the empty crisp packet, I remember thinking when I bought the crisps my dad was still alive, and now he is dead and buried never to be seen again and yet here is this empty crisp packet that has lasted longer than my father. Life is short, make the most of it.

New iphone

Yesterday I got a new phone. It's an apple iphone SE, my first iphone. But I don't think I'll use it just yet. My old Nokia still works fine, even though it has been dropped countless times, it still does most of what I want it to do, calls, texts, and the odd grainy photo. The only thing that doesn't work is the torch, but I bought an LED torch for 1.99 so that will do instead. I don't need it to access the internet, even though I get 2 gigs of data every month with my package. Yesterday the phone shop wasn't too busy, well it wasn't busy at all actually because I was the only customer there. So I asked the sales assistant how big is 2 gigs in layman's terms?

It's about 1 hour on youtube. WTF use is that?  I was telling her I was going to keep it in the box, will it be ok to leave it there until I need it? Sure, it's your phone, when her Dad gets a new upgrade he gives it to one of his kids. I'm thinking of doing the same, give it to my 11 year old for christmas. She said you could sell it if you want, loads of people do,it's your phone. So when I got home with my new phone I looked it up on a few selling sites, the phone that I paid €69 for can be sold for something like €250 to €400.

Why? Let's go back in time a bit. About a month ago I got a text saying I was due an upgrade. I went on to my 'service' provider's website, got chatting on line to somebody from India about my upgrade, went over and back to a few review sites on the net, then looked up prices etc. I discovered that the iphone SE has a 12 megapixel camera, that's cool I thought, my Nikon digital slr only has 10 megapixels, it's also slightly smaller than more modern phones (remember I still have a Nokia) so that helped. I did no more about it. But for about two weeks my old reliable Nokia became very unreliable, dropped calls, my wife asking why don't you answer your phone etc. missed calls. I smelt a rat.

Then about 10 days ago I was driving the tractor when a Polish guy rang me from my 'service' provider, guess what, I was due an upgrade. I stopped the tractor, he was a bit surprised when I told him I used a Nokia phone. He thought I had some sort of Samsung (my last upgrade). I told him that the terrier sank his teeth into the screen about a month after I got it and I went back to using a Nokia. I told him I was interested in the iphone SE, no surprise to him haha, so I ordered it, said I'd pick it up in my local 'service' provider's shop.

So here I am with a perfectly good Nokia and a brand new iphone still in the box (despite my 11 year old son's protestations) that I don't really need. It cost me €69 and a 24 month contract which includes 2 gigabites of data (WTF), 150 minutes of talk time and 150 texts for €23 (incl. VAT) per month. What's the catch?

24 months @ €23 is €552. I used the calculator on my Nokia to work that out! Ok maybe I could get a pay as you go deal from a different 'service' provider for €15, but I'd probably have to buy a phone and a sim card for €250 minimum.

I think it's being locked in for 24 months is where the catch is, it probably costs my 'service' provider virtually  nothing to provide me with 150 minutes of talk time. I don't know how much apple charge my 'service' provider, but I'm guessing it's about half what the average joesoap can buy a phone for (250/2) so €125 approx. So they make €427 - the cost of calls  (virtually nothing)+€69  out of selling me a new phone.

Oh, I nearly forgot, my 'service' provider retail outlet was selling an otterbox defender cover for €49, the same cover can be bought on line for €15. My Nokia doesn't need a cover, and only needs to be charged twice a week. You should have seen the amount of shit inside my Nokia when the sales assistant opened it to see if I needed a new sim card!

I think the iphone is the carrot to get people to sign a new contract. There's a joke going around about the new iphone X,
how do you milk a sheep?
Launch a new iphone.

In conclusion I'll leave you with a quote from The Grapes of Wrath;
'The first time I heard the word service was when my daddy was taking a heifer to the bull. So now everytime I hear the word service I can't help wondering just who is gettin' screwed?'.
 

Half way to forty hammers.

The Man With Forty Hammers.

I used to work in Co Clare in a lab. Part of the job was taking samples from sites around the county. We drove past a small workshop and the guy driving said 'That man has forty hammers'.

A couple of weeks ago I bought a ballpien hammer from a travelling salesman. I didn't really need another hammer, but I bought it anyway to hansel the man, it was a wet day and he'd been travelling over a hundred miles and I was his first customer. I sometimes think I bring good luck to these people, if they make a sale to me early in the day then the rest of the day will be good for them.

It's the blue hammer towards the lower middle.

Anyway I started thinking how many hammers have I? So yesterday I gathered them all up and laid them out on a pallet. I found 18 including a mallet, there was one in the car and another in the jeep, actually the one in the jeep is a fencing pliers, but it can be used to hammer in a staple. So I'm half way there, to the man with 40 hammers that is, if you will allow me to count the fencing pliers as a hammer.

What's the big deal with hammers you may ask? Well to put it simply the hammer is the mother of all tools. When our ancestors picked up a rock to bash a nut open that was the first rudimentary tool. To make a better tool they shaped flints with another stone and so on until we started to melt ores and cast them. Today hammers are still used by a few of us on a daily basis. Most of the farmers I know have at least one hammer, some have two or three, but 20 is a bit OTT. I have an excuse though, I am a blacksmith. When I gathered mine up yesterday I deliberately didn't gather up the ones with no handles, there is at least a half dozen or so of them.

Most of my hammers were bought in joblots at auctions. Some were on the farm before I was born. One christmas I mentioned that I'd like a hammer for christmas, I got 3 ballpiens that christmas.

Below, I re-arranged them according to their purpose.

On the left are two sledges, the long handled one weighs 10lbs, the other is an 8lb stone mason's hammer. Next are two more stone mason's hammers, used to finish the face of a stone. Then there are six blacksmithing hammers of various weights, the sixth one is used for swaging. Next are a few carpenter's hammers with a claw for pulling out nails. Beside them is what I think is a cobbler's hammer. that came in box of tools at an auction. Next up we have 2 lump hammers, made in China, they are slightly softer and can be used for forging, especially to hit tool steel without damaging the tool steel. Generally one of these lives in each tractor on the farm. Finally at the extreme right is the wooden mallet, sometimes used to hit chisels for woodwork, or can be used in the forge to straighten a twist without marking it. My next hammer purchase will be a rawhide hammer, also used for forging, light taps on something that is almost finished. Perhaps I'll mention it at christmas and get 3!

 

I'm tired but I can't sleep. I'm not in bed but it's almost 1am, I'm watching a tv programme about Phil Collins. I like his music, one of his songs is my favourite song, 'in the air tonight' if I'm ever in a coma and you want me to come out of it this song would most likely do it.

Anyway on nights when I can't sleep I recite this stuff to myself, starting with my feet. It also works as a relaxation technique, here goes;

My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My toes feel heavy and relaxed
My toes feel heavy and relaxed

My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed
My feet feel heavy and relaxed

My ankles feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed
My ankles feel heavy and relaxed.

My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed
My toes, my feet and my ankles are all heavy and relaxed.


My calves feel heavy and relaxed
and I think about the only time I ever saw you in a dress
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
a black dress the day we had an interview with E6
My calves feel heavy and relaxed
and you got the job.

My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My knees feel heavy and relaxed
My knees feel heavy and relaxed

My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
I think about you having a coffee
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
sitting with your legs crossed
My thighs feel heavy and relaxed
one hand tucked between your thighs

My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed
My calves, my knees and my thighs are all heavy and relaxed.

Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love
you smiling in a park, with sun behind you
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love
the sunlight streaming through your hair 
Think of a smile of warmth, compassion and love.

My hips feel heavy and relaxed
I think about your hips
My hips feel heavy and relaxed
clad in Levis at eye level
My hips feel heavy and relaxed.
walking away from me after we had a row

My lower back feels heavy and relaxed
maths class in 2nd year, you sat in front of me
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed
I could see your green panties
My lower back feels heavy and relaxed.
embarrassed you pulled your shirt lower. 

My spine feels heavy and relaxed
My spine feels heavy and relaxed
the flat gold chain at the top of your spine
My spine feels heavy and relaxed.

My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed
My hips, my lower back and my spine are all heavy and relaxed.

My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
At holloween you invited me to your room
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
you took off your jumper
My stomach feels heavy and relaxed
and inadvertently revealed your navel 

My chest feels heavy and relaxed
we never actually chose a star
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
but now whenever I see Orion's belt
My chest feels heavy and relaxed
Or Mars I think of you too

My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
How tanned they were
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
'03 was a good summer
My shoulders feel heavy and relaxed
your fabulous hair cascading over them

My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed
My stomach, my chest and my shoulders are all heavy and relaxed.

My arms feel heavy and relaxed
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
The first time I saw you
My arms feel heavy and relaxed
You wore an armulet

My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed
My elbows feel heavy and relaxed

My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
You sat beside me as I ordered a USB watch on the bay
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
I asked did you want one too
My wrists feel heavy and relaxed
But you politely declined

My arms, my elbows, and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.

My arms, my elbows, and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.

My arms, my elbows, and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.

My hands feel heavy and relaxed

My hands feel heavy and relaxed

My hands feel heavy and relaxed

My fingers feel heavy and relaxed

You asked me could I raise my 3rd finger

My fingers feel heavy and relaxed

While still keeping the others flat?

My fingers feel heavy and relaxed

I showed you that I could and you said

some piano players who couldn't 

would be very jealous.

My thumbs feel heavy and relaxed

Why is thumbing a lift so bad

My thumbs feel heavy and relaxed

where you come from it has a 

My thumbs feel heavy and relaxed

totally different meaning, now I know.

My hands, my fingers and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed

Your long slender skilled fingers would do a surgeon proud

My hands, my fingers and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed

My hands, my fingers and my wrists are all heavy and relaxed.

My neck feels heavy and relaxed

As I get more relaxed I am more

My neck feels heavy and relaxed

conscious of my heart beating 

My neck feels heavy and relaxed

My jaw feels heavy and relaxed

we watched a world cup game on tv

My jaw feels heavy and relaxed

Your country won and we drank some carlsberg

My jaw feels heavy and relaxed

My tongue feels heavy and relaxed

you flew home the next day

My tongue feels heavy and relaxed

3 world cups have passed since

My tongue feels heavy and relaxed

My neck, my jaw and my tongue are all heavy and relaxed

My neck, my jaw and my tongue are all heavy and relaxed

My neck, my jaw and my tongue are all heavy and relaxed.

My lips feel heavy and relaxed

My lips feel heavy and relaxed

My lips feel heavy and relaxed

My cheeks feel heavy and relaxed

My cheeks feel heavy and relaxed

My cheeks feel heavy and relaxed

My eyes feel heavy and relaxed

Boris eye lashes I teased

My eyes feel heavy and relaxed

My eyes feel heavy and relaxed

My lips, my cheeks and my eyes are all heavy and relaxed

My lips, my cheeks and my eyes are all heavy and relaxed

My lips, my cheeks and my eyes are all heavy and relaxed.

My forehead feels heavy and relaxed

My forehead feels heavy and relaxed

My forehead feels heavy and relaxed

My temples feel heavy and relaxed

My temples feel heavy and relaxed

My temples feel heavy and relaxed

My ears feel heavy and relaxed

with the Claddagh earrings

My ears feel heavy and relaxed

I wonder what it would take now

My ears feel heavy and relaxed

to make up with you again.

After the Poetry?

After the love has gone all that's left is the poetry.

But what is left after the poetry has gone? Is it just the memories? Or the everyday reminders that have become routine? Driving along a certain piece of road perhaps, or something as simple as looking at the horizon out the kitchen window as I press the coffee pot plunger and wonder do you still think about me too.
At least the dreams have stopped. For ages I had a recurring dream of being in a cinema and you would walk past and just ignore me, the same way as you ignored me on the bridge one January afternoon. Sometimes I dreamt that we actually had a conversation, in a lab usually, solving a problem or in a canteen you'd smile sit down beside me and then......
Now all that is left is the memories. I spent years mourning your loss, I wonder was it the same for you too? Perhaps that's why you never replied to the emails I sent you at christmas or on your birthday. I always felt very down after sending one off to cyberspace. I'd frantically check my inbox 8 or 9 times a day for a few days, naively hoping for a reply. But there never was any replies. You blocked me on all social media, can't say I blame you, but I'm glad to see a photo of you wearing the Claddagh earrings a few years after we stopped talking. It gave me HOPE, perhaps there was still a slim chance that maybe some day you would get back to me.
This year I didn't send you any emails wishing you a happy christmas, or all the best in 2017. I can't do it  anymore. Instead when I went to feed the cattle on new year's eve I lit a candle for you in the HOPE that maybe soon you'll get back to me.

So I conclude, after the love has gone, the poetry exhausted and as the memories fade, HOPE is still there.

Little update; still dreaming about you, were you thinking about me?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xjdrlo_bob-dylan-johnny-cash-girl-from-the-north-countrywmv_music

I came across this last year and it reminded me of you, hope someone bought you a good coat for the winter.

Black and White

Yesterday when I got up I had no intention of going to church, it just happened. After I dropped my son to school I had to go to the dentist, I parked in the churchyard because it's free, it's away from the prying eyes of traffic wardens, yes you guessed it the tax disc is still not up to date! I was able to park in shade, as it was a bright sunny morning I wanted to park in shade because my dog was in the jeep.
I walked to the dental practice, I had a 9am appointment, got in fairly quickly as mine was the first job of the day. I had a few fillings to get so decided to do two side beside on the top left, but this isn't about the dentist.
After leaving the dentist I walked back to the church, at the gate I met Bart, a Polish guy who used to work for me, I asked how he was, the family etc. we discussed mortgages still a hot topic in Ireland. Then I asked him was there Mass on or what, he said a member of the Polish community had died, his funeral was on that morning, I'd heard about the crash on the news the previous Friday, the road was closed. It happened on a road I drive on 4 or 5 times a week. It was a motorbike, no one else involved. Bart told me that his friend Lucas hit a badger, came off the bike and broke his neck. His wife of 7 months was about a mile behind him when it happened, it was almost dark and she rode on home, passing him by, never saw him. When she got home there was no sign of him, so she got in the car and drove back to find cop cars, ambulances, fire brigades etc. Lucas was only 33. He had been born behind the iron curtin and died on a road near my local town in a freak accident with a black and white badger. Bart said something like it's destiny, there's nothing you can do, yeah, when your time is up it's up I replied. I said I better go as I wanted to get out of the churchyard before the funeral arrived.
So I went to the jeep and let the dog out for a piss. It was something Bart had said, DESTINY. I decided to go to the funeral. I walked around to the other end of the church and in the main door. I came in at the back of the church and chose an empty pew 4 or 5 rows up, made a half assed attempt at a genuflection, I'm not a catholic, sat down and said a silent prayer.
It was still a few minutes to go, most of the mourners waited outside. The pew I had chosen was opposite a wide side door. Two priests in white stoles went to the door and opened it, letting in a draught and the bright spring sunshine. It was the door that Lucas would enter. When I went into the church there were 2 maybe 3 bikes in the churchyard. As I watched the two priests looking out the door more bikes started to arrive. One of the bikers, wearing a red bandanna asked the priests for permission to park the bikes in two lines either side of the door, the priests nodded. The bikers lined up, I wished I had a camera as the image was beautifully  framed in the doorway, I knew I was witnessing something very special, the black leather of the bikers contrasting with the white vestments of the priests, and the black hearse contrasting with the sunshine on a beautiful sunny Spring day. Not a day for a camera I thought, better to cherish the memory instead, and try to describe it in words.
The undertaker awkwardly placed his little fold up trolley in the porch, then a few moments later removed it, it would not be needed. These guys were going to do a proper job for Lucas. The bikes shone in the sunshine as they ticked over. As the coffin bearers shouldered Lucas at the back of the hearse the biker with the red bandanna  spun his hand quickly. The roar of the bikes as they saluted a fallen comrade could be heard for miles. What I felt was an unbelievable thrill, I hadn't been on a bike since the year that Lucas was born, but I swear my right hand twisted in the motion to open the throttle fully wide, the words of the song 'We're on the highway to Hell' blazed through my brain as Lucas entered the darkness of the church. During the ceremony which was mostly conducted in Polish I learnt that Lucas was a really talented pastry chef who had recently been promoted to manager where he worked. The biker in the red bandanna  spoke at length in Polish, I wished I knew what he said. It was a first for me, to see someone in a red bandanna, dressed in black leather speaking from a pulpit.
I don't know why I went to church yesterday, but today I'm glad I did, maybe it's because I have my own issues with badgers and TB, perhaps someone is trying to tell me that my badger problem isn't anywhere near as bad as the young Polish widow who yesterday buried her husband of 7 months,
Rest in Peace Lucas.